A Peaceful Rest.

This has been by far the longest week of my life.


Monday was spent finishing up the last of my homework due for that day. Between that and about 8 loads of laundry later I crashed for the night.

Tuesday I went to Loveland to help out there and have at least one more day with Rachel before she headed home. That and to get some more things set for the long road ahead for my wonderful mother as she deals with the passing process of Nana. Rachel and I worked on making sure the house was picked up. We planned meals and took care of the kids. Rachel finished up with getting the meals into the freezer for later use and then spent the night in the nursing home for the second time with Nana so she wouldn't be alone. I went to the airport that afternoon and picked up my Aunt Cindy and cousin Mari who were able to come to see Nana one last time before she embarked on her next adventure. Initially we planned on just going over in the morning but then decided that it was more important for us to go over that night instead. I left Ben with the girls and took them over for one final visit. It was a wonderful thing for me to see that night. While we were there there were many many nurses and friends who came to say hello and wish Nana peace. To say goodbye and tell them how much they love her.

One nurse told us this funny story: "every morning when she would go in to help Nana get up she would get her sat up in her bed and Nana would put both hands on the side of the bed wobble around and say: 'I'm druuuunk!' laughing would of course ensue every morning because everyone knows Nana doesn't drink!"

Another cool thing I learned that night about Nana... She had found enough joy and happiness there in order to allow a childhood name to return. As a kid Nana always went by the name 'Deenie' that name was lost somewhere along the line and in her time at North Shore it reappeared. I was thrilled to see and hear that she found that extra little bit of childhood happiness. I was also never more grateful for the true heartfelt love that those wonderful women have for my Nana. That they took care of her and loved her and were so sad to see her go.

Wednesday I took Cindy and Mari back to Loveland. We spent the day there doing little things here and there, we got started on going through some of Nana's things from the nursing home and then came home for one more night with Daddy before he left!

Thursday morning Ben left for Canada and I packed myself and the girls up to go to Loveland for the rest of the weekend. I spent the entire day going through stuff of Nana's and trying to get the easy things out to be donated before trying to leave such a huge task on my mom's shoulders alone. Cindy, Mari, and I continued forward with that all day long and then Cindy went and took a bit of time at the nursing home with her mom to give my mom a break for a little bit. The night shift was going to be mine that night and I headed over around 10:00 that night after I had finally gotten the girls to sleep and had a chance to talk to Ben for a while! When I arrived that night and walked into the room I had a very distinct impression that this was going to come to an end for Nana that night. In a slight panic I ask Cindy to please not leave me there all alone to know when to call my mom and tell her to come back. I was only there for about 30 min before we had called mom and told her it was time for her to come back.
At that point there was an incredible calm that came over the room. It truly became a Holy place in that room. You could feel the concourses of angels who had come to greet her and welcome her with open arms into the next adventure of life. It was such a neat experience to feel those people who I honestly believe I once knew and will know again. They were all so excited to see her and bring her home with them. It was also interesting to feel that sensation of not belonging, like while I sat in that room and was surrounded by people I couldn't see I knew I didn't belong, that they were not there to celebrate with me just with Her.
January 27, 2011 At 11:55 PM Nana, Woodeen Rozailia Hayes Meister, joined her family and her Savior. The peace that filled my heart the moment she left was beyond my ability to explain. It was truly joyful and a privilege to participate in.

Friday was surreal. Like much of the time that has continued to pass since Nana's passing I feel kind of like I am in a cloud. Cindy Mari and I continued to go through things and get the things to be donated set out. Plans for the funeral were made, as well as finalizing plans for the burial and travel plans. I honestly cannot remember everything we did that day. It was a day spent in exhaustion and a bit of a cloud.

Saturday I took Mari too the airport for her trip home. It was nice to have some alone time to talk. Then I took the girls home and left them with Grandma Merritt for a while so I could go back to Loveland to help dress the body for burial. That was also a neat experience and not anywhere as unsettling as watching someone pass. That night I slept in my own bed and slept for the first time in days, maybe it was just out of pure exhaustion but I was grateful for the sleep!

Sunday was church, I managed to get myself and both girls dressed and out the door in time for 9:00 am church. I sat in nursery as well and was reminded how wonderful the women who serve in that calling (and all callings for that matter) are! Ben got home just after church and we then headed over to Loveland for a family dinner with everyone except Rachel, Bruce and Hailey. They were missed but we are so glad they are doing so well in Texas!

Monday morning was the funeral for Nana. It was a beautiful service. Mom gave the life history and did a beautiful job. Somewhere in the things that we had gone through in a vain effort to find Nana's childhood photos we found a notebook with all of the letters from her social worker to Grandma and Grandpa Hayes while Nana was in the hospital being taken care of and having work done on her hips. It has been a real blessing to find such a treasure to learn just a little bit more about this woman who we apparently did not know as well as we thought we did. After the funeral we had a wonderful dinner and then went back to Mom's house to go through a few more boxes. By the end of the day we were all very tired and ready for bed.

Tuesday Mom, Dad, Alan, Heather, and Heidi all left very very early to take Cindy to the airport and head to Arizona for the burial. Dad took one van with the body in the back and Mom and the kids went in the other car. They drove through white out snow storms most of the way there but thankfully arrived safely.
I dropped the kids of at Grandma Merritt's house for the entire day while I diligently worked on getting caught up on my homework. It was a mess. I am so so so grateful for incredible in-laws who sacrifice so much for my family and bend over backwards to help anytime I ask! I have been so blessed!

Wednesday the girls and I did things around the house. ran a few errands but mostly just stayed in because it was bitter cold outside for the second day in a row. Nana's graveside service was this day as well. I heard that it was a very good service and that it was also painfully cold. But Nana was officially laid to rest next to her mother and father in Joseph City, AZ.

Thursday I again attacked the homework after dropping the girls off with Grandma Merritt for the second time in one week. (I again go back to how lucky I am to have them!!) I got a phone call from Mom that afternoon that Eric (my little brother for those who don't know) had been in a serious car accident. This sends a whole different set of panic in my mind but thankfully the news was also followed by the news that he was ok! The car on the other hand was not going to survive the ordeal. Sadly my parents had just gotten this car and had just finished getting it fixed less than a week before. Now we bid farewell to the Volvo and thank the engineers who designed a car well enough to save my brother's life.

Friday I spent the day enjoying my little life in a daze. I played with the girls and didn't get anything useful done all day. But I honestly experienced every bit of joy that comes from being a parent that day. What a gift life is and childhood should be enjoyed for every minute of it, filled with kisses, hugs, and laughter!

Saturday, I had my husband home all day for an entire day! It was wonderful. I worked on homework more for a while and eventually got very irritated at my inability to grasp what I was trying to learn so I loaded the girls up and we went shopping for a little while! What fun it was!

Sunday was good. It was hard but I really do love the gospel and all the wonderful support and friends we have through that! that is the last two weeks.

Before I go I have to for the purpose of future readings: Thank you Eliza and Alayna for being so wonderful and amazing! Thank you for being understanding when Mommy forgot that even though she wasn't hungry she still needed to feed you two! Thank you for entertaining yourselves and for playing together so well in the past few weeks. You have been amazing and someday I want grow up to be like your amazing spirits! Eliza thank you for being such an incredible helper and for always supporting me and asking me to play! Alayna thank you for your hyper sensitive spirit and desire to bring comfort in just the right moment. Both of you girls are incredible and I am proud and lucky to be your mother!

Welcome Home!

Family picture (minus Bruce) 2011

Bath time with Cousins!

Tickles with Grandpa!

Heather, Grandpa, Hailey, Alayna

Welcome Home Elder Jaron Waite!

Happy Birthday Alan!

We had a fantastic amazing and wonderful week this week... well 90% of it was like that at the least!

Monday was a horrible day. It started out with the realization that I had 2 (not 1) assignments due that day that I was really really struggling with. I had to go to the store for food for the missionaries that night, Alayna was woken up by her sister not even an hour into her nap and did not nap the rest of the day. The house was a disaster and I had laundry coming out my ears that needed doing. So with two very grumpy children, one grumpy mommy and one very long 'to-do' list I began the long journey of the day. Somehow by some cruel joke the internet started giving me troubles right after Eliza woke Alayna up from her all too short of a nap so doing any more homework was out of the question. It was sometime around that moment that I had myself a good cry and started on something that could actually show me some kind of result. My house got cleaned, my laundry started and I got over the fact that my babies wouldn't stop crying and hanging onto my legs begging to be picked up or played with. That night we had a lovely dinner, I cried a little more to my wonderful patient husband and slept for the first time in 3 days. Then I thanked the Lord that not every day is as miserable as that one was!

Tuesday was 100% better than Monday but that's not really all that hard to beat! The morning was spent at Grandma Merritt's house quilting with Grandma Waite. The girls were about ready to jump out of their skin they were so excited to have both their grandma's in the same place at the same time! My mom really enjoyed the time and felt like she learned a ton while there and is looking forward to more time to practice and learning with Diane. That afternoon I was given some treasured time with my friend Troy... He's my official tutor and has single handedly helped me pass my last (and current) accounting class! Thanks to him I was able to complete the final parts of the assignments that I was totally stumped on.

Wednesday was spent in Loveland helping grandma around the house and getting things a little more prepared for the rest of the weekend.

Thursday was the best day of the week. The morning was spent in blissful peace with my little family here at home! Ben was home for the day and we enjoyed a very quiet morning doing homework and preping for pre-klondike for Ben. Eliza and Alayna spent a little time at Grandma Merritt's house and then the afternoon came. AND

Elder Jaron Waite arrived! We met him at the airport and at 2:30PM(ish) we were able to see my wonderful brother after two years of only twice a year phone calls. He served an honorable mission in South Carolina for our church and we are thrilled to have him come home!!

The rest of that night was spent listening to stories from his past two years and just getting to be around family!

Friday morning we got some bad news. Nana (my mom's mother who lived with us for 12 years and is currently in a nursing home) had a grand maul seizure. She did not do well that day at all. She was almost completely unresponsive and the only thing she responded to was Jaron and that she really wanted to see him once he got home. I spent the morning at home with my family and getting some homework done before going over to the Waite household for a sleepover with Rachel and family while Ben was gone on a camp out. I had a fantastic morning (asside from the bad news) and the evening wasn't too terrible either! haha! I did have a really good time playing with my siblings and just getting to be (kinda) a kid again.

Saturday morning was great I made it through the night without breaking Heather's clock which ticks very very loudly all night. We had a great morning as a family going out shopping for a few hours. I got a couple new shirts for myself which was fantastic because I spent less than $5 for all 3 shirts! And I found some shes for Eliza that are SUPER adorable! The afternoon was spent feeding and napping children and then doing some other stuff.... I can't remember everything we did. We did get to celebrate Alan's 17th birthday that day as well (happy birthday old man!). Dinner was awesome. Aunt Rachel introduced Miss Eliza to Jello... so that meant tha Alayna helped herself to some too and by the end of dinner we had three kids coverd in Jello and one bath in order to cure the mess and be ready for church tomorrow. After baths we had Alan's gifts and cake (poor choice to bathe first but oh well!) and then I drove home a couple of very tired little girls to go to bed and see my tired husband as well! Ben had a great time at the camp out the one issue was the crazy wind and being woken up by the lantern hitting him in the head from the wind blowing so hard!

Sunday, Merry Christmas!... I know it's not really Christmas but this year we waited for siblings gift exchange until Jaron could be home for it too. So my mom being the incredible woman that she is left her decorations up for this long and has now earned the right to take them down! We had a lovely dinner and a fantastic time laughing tons and tons together. I will never get over how fun family dinners are at my parents house and all the laughter that happens there. They are sweet memories that I will cherrish forever. We also got some family pictures done too and I will be making a dilligent effort to photoshop Bruce into at least one of them, he has been missed this weekend! It's been a busy week and I'm glad we're moving into the next one!

PS Nana Update: She is coherent now and understands what is going on. She has lost the ability to move her legs herself at all and is still slow of speech. She has also decided that she will no longer be doing dialysis for her kidneys and is not expected to live more than a few more weeks at most. She has lived a full and good life and we will miss her when she goes. We love her so much and wish her peace and most of all to be pain free even if that means moving on to her next adventure in the next life. Peace be unto her soul.

When Computer's try to Die

Day two of mystery burn

fever blister?

Day 1 'burn'

shoes are not just for feet!

hahaha!

This week has been a nice a peaceful week in the Merritt household.

Monday was spent mostly at our own house having naps and trying to settle down a little more from all the holiday maddness. The evening we made an attempt at going to play for one last time of playing with the cousins for one last time before they went home to Florida. That was not the ideal visit with the cousins because Eliza was still a major grump so she was pretty mean to them and didn't get a long very well. In the end we called it a night and gave them hugs goodbye until the next wonderful time they can visit!

Tuesday we went to Loveland and ran errands. We also made a trip to the Outlets in Loveland and scored some great deals on cloths for Eliza and a couple of things for Alayna even though she didn't really have to have them. After that was a great relaxing day spending time with my mom and girls!

Wednesday was spent at home doing a few weeks worth of laundry that I had let build up for far too long. I also got a chance to start setting up my little corner of the office that will be for my crafting stuff... I've come to the conclusion that I could easily fill an entire room with the stuff I have not to mention the stuff I would like to have later :-) That night Ben went sledding with the young ment in the ward and by some kind of miricle he came home without anything broken or damaged on his body (the last few times activities with the youth have resulted in broken bones and very sore husbands, good thing he's so tough!)

Thursday was a good day. I loaded the girls up that morning and went and visited Abby at work. My eyebrows no longer look like bushes! Following that I made a trip to Walgreens to remedy some of the longer term side effects of the crazy doses of antibiotics I was taking for all of 3 days. That is a long story but in the end I was more sick from taking the antibiotic than I was feeling from the infection so I quit taking the antibiotic in order to feel better again.

Friday was great. Eliza was more than elated to go to playgroup again and get a little bit more into our normal routine. She had a blast getting to play with her friends and Alayna came home and had a great nap while mommy worked on homework. After playgroup we stopped at the grocery store and Eliza picked out some beautiful flowers for Grandma which she proudly carried though the store and personally delivered that afternoon!

Saturday was cleaning at the church... then the oddest thing happened. Alayna got this weird looking blister (similar to what Eliza used to get as diaper rash) but then it kept looking worse and worse. When it turned bright red and started getting some black spots all over it I kinda freaked out a little bit and decided that this was NOT a normal rash and someone should look at it before it got any worse! I being resourceful did a little research online before taking her in with no luck at all in fact instead my computer was infected with TONS of nasty virusus and no longer works. So at 7pm I loaded her up and drove her to the only open urgent care (about 30 min away). They had wonderful and very quick service there that saved me a $100 copay at the ER. In the end the Doc and I sat there for a good 20 min trying to figure out what could have caused such an odd problem... it appears that it is a thermal burn. Something really hot touched that kids leg but her cloths had zero indication of any kind of damage and she never once cried like she was in enough pain to have caused such a nasty looking burn. So to this point we have no idea what is actually wrong with the poor kid and we're treating her leg like it's a nasty burn.

Sunday: this morning I was wondering if another burn would magically appear but no such thing happend. Instead it appears that she's got a canker or fever blister type thing happening on her lip now (top and bottom same side of the body as other burn) Ben doesn't think they're related but I'm not yet convinced. If by tomorrow something more shows up I might just take her back in and insist that they figure out if something else is wrong with her! (after church I got online on Ben's computer and ended up getting all the viruses my computer had pop up at me again, I'm cursed don't let me touch your computer!!)

Church was fantastic and the girls were great! Eliza even happily went to Sunbeams this week!!

I hope everyone has a fantastic week!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to everyone!

We had a fabulose week this past week! Ben was able to be home for the entire week so we did all kinds of fun things!

Monday was spent with the Merritt clan! We got to spend the day at the Greeley rec center. I was very very impressed with the facility it was fantastic! Much like a mini water park except it was indoor! The only major downer was the noise levels. You really had to shout at eachother in order to hear anything being said. That and Alayna was totally freaked out the entire time even though she usually loves going to the pool. I think it kinda wigged her out that it was so busy and so loud because we usually go when we're all alone at a much quieter facility. But Eliza had a really good time riding all the slides and playing in the lazy river! That evening was family pictures with the Merritt's and that went as good as could be expected with lots of very tired people... I am excited to see the end results though!

Tuesday was extra fun for the grown-ups! We got to drop the kids off the Grandma while all the 'siblings' that were still there went out to lunch. We missed Evan and Mallory but we had a really great time anyway. The kids were good for grandma but I think she might be remembering that she's glad she can send them home to their mom's and dad's when they get tired and grumpy! Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for letting us have so much fun!

Wednesday was spent in Loveland with my family! Rachel and Bruce got to stay for a longer visit this year so we decided to hit up the indoor playground at the Fort Collins mall in the morning. We had my old friend Katrina along with us too so that I could get some great visit time in too. That afternoon we napped the kids and I got to visit with Melinda (another amazing friend!). Ben and Bruce got out of the house for a little while and did a little shopping. Ben found some fantastic thermals that we're all very excited about. After naps we went to the Chilson Center which they have just recently redone to make it more kid/family friendly. That was a total hit! Both my girls enjoyed it much more than the other place but it was also much more geared toward younger kids than the other pool was. Plus it had a hot tub to warm those babies up when they got too cold! By the end of the night both girls and both parents were totally beat!

Thursday brought something strange to this town... snow. It waited all the way until December 30th to make it's appearance but it finally came. It gave me a chance to remember just a little bit better the thrill of getting married 4 years ago that day to the most amazing and wonderful man alive! I am so thankful for Ben and everything he has done for me and our family! He has provided for us in every way possible for the past 4 years and made me proud to say that I am his wife and that he is the father of our two beautiful daughters. We got to spend that evening going out to a wonderful quiet dinner while the girls stayed with Grandma.

Friday was great too! We took the girls sledding for the first time ever. Well I guess it was technically the second time for Eliza who went sledding on Thursday in Grandma's back yard. But it was our first family trip! We had a ton of fun but I also gained a whole new appriciation for the ammount of work that goes into just getting out of the house in order to go sledding at all. Alayna was totally annoyed that we had her so bundled she could hardly move but she LOVED the actual sledding part. She would get so ticked off to just be stuck at the top of the hill she wanted someone to ride with her down! Eliza also prefered to go with someone but she did really well the one time we got her to go on her own. The one downfall was that it was really difficult for her to walk back up to the top so we ended up carrying her a good portion of the time. Next time we're taking a sled with a pull string so we can just drag the girls back up! In spite of my efforts I gave in at about 11pm and went to bed so there goes yet another new year to blissful sleep.

Saturday Happy New Year! was spent hanging out at home and then at the Merritt's house. I woke up feeling horrible and so I got the girl up and fed and then I went back to bed. Ben was kind enough to let me sleep until 9 which was wonderful all the way around. The afternoon was spent watching football and hanging out with family.

Sunday was good, church went well... ok so church didn't go so well. It was Eliza's first week as a Sunbeam in church so that meant that she was in a new class with a new teacher and everything that goes with it. To say the least it did not go over well. We had a total melt down and didn't make it to any of sharing time. I talked her into going to sunday school and in the end she walked out with a smile on her face so hopefully next week wont result in another melt down. We had a wonderful nap and then a great sunday dinner at my parents house!

We are so richly blessed and I am greatful for everything that has been done to this point in our lives to bless us and uplift us. Thank you to everyone who has made this past year amazing!